Pokemon is Malayalee ...its official... Court agreed to a petition by Ajumon, Kunjumon, Bijumon & Jomon in International Court of Justice.

Next in question is Doraemon

The wife came home with four cases of beer, three boxes of wine, a litre of vodka, two litres of gin, two bottles of whisky and two loaves of bread.

"Are we expecting guests?" He asked.

"No," she replied.

"Then why did you buy so much bread..!!

Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?”

Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”

Mother, “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”

Patrick, “What school?”

Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother?

My name is Paul.

Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."

Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"

Doctor: "Nine."

Negro died & went to heaven.

Angel: Who are you..??

Negro to impress her: Am hero of Titanic.

Angel gets confused & asks a friend: Abey Titanic duba tha ki jala tha..?

A man goes down on his knees and proposes to her....

*MARRY ME*

and....

*MAKE ME THE HAPPIEST MAN IN THE WORLD*

Looking bewildered she replied,

*YOU WANT BOTH  ?*

It's because of gold..silver..bronze..
Indian women are doing well...

put whisky..brandy..rum...
as prizes...

and you will see Indian men
winning all the prizes

Days are really changing fast in India.

Earlier *women used to win beauty contests and men used to be wrestling champions*

Now the *roles have reversed*.

Rohit Khandelwal was
*Mr World 2016*

While Sakshi is the *wrestling champion in* *2016 Olympics*

Food for thought!!!

Come to think of it...

Rakhi is like the Mafia:

There's *money exchange;*
a *'bhai'* involved 
and  there's *protection offered!*

"First complete your homework and studies, then go and play."

Just because of this one sentence India has lost thousands of Olympic golds!!

Reunion special...

किस उम्र में आकर मिले हो
तुम हमसे सनम

जब हाथों की मेंहदी
बालों में लग रही है ।

Married women face a significantly lower risk of kidnapping, nobody can be certain that the ransom would actually be paid.

Somebody said today that I'm lazy. I nearly answered him.

Finally, the spring is here! I'm so thrilled I wet my plants.

Excuse me, sir, have you seen a police officer around?”
-
“No, not a soul, actually.”
-
“Very good, now give me your wallet, watch and laptop!”

What would you call a dinosaur with a surprisingly impressive vocabulary? 
 
A thesaurus.

Yes, I’ve lost to my computer at chess. But it turned out to be no match for me at kickboxing.

I am not a schizophrenic and neither am I.

Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you are donating blood.

What can I eat in the evening in front of the TV that wouldn’t make me fat?

Your fingernails.

>> I love to help in those online Q&A communities.

I ate 4 bowls of delicious alphabet soup. After that I had a massive vowel movement.

What are mixed feelings?

Watching your mother-in-law backing up towards the edge of a cliff in your new BMW.

A drunkard helps an old nun across the street. 

She: Thank you very much, young man!

He: No problem. Batman’s friends are my friends!

I forgot my cell phone when I went to the toilet yesterday. We have 245 tiles.

I saw a poster today, somebody was asking “Have you seen my cat?”

So I called the number and said that I didn’t. I like to help where I can.

Teacher: Which country is nxt to USA?

Student: USB

Teacher: Get out.

A Marathon runner from Satara moves to Russia.
Changes his name to

"Zorat Dhavtosky"

Latest on *Traffic jam*

Customer: "One regular thin crust vegetable pizza, with extra cheese".

Dominos: "May I know your address?"

Customer: "12th car from the start of the Andheri flyover, in the first north bound lane.

In a soft husky voice she said, "Drive me crazy"

...

...
He left her on Andheri Kurla Road at Sakinaka junction