Senior Citizen

 After retirement, my friend Ashutosh Nath married a young 25 year old woman ..... 

Now he was spending less time with his friends. His concerned friends enquired if there was a problem.

“I'm eager to pass time with you all, but my young wife gets lonely when I'm away.” 

His friends advised him, 'Keep a young tenant at home, your wife will be happy in the company of a younger person'.

Mr. Nath promptly acted on their advise and leased a room in his big house to a young tenant.

Now the friends were meeting more often. One day the friends jokingly asked, “How is your wife now?” 

"She is not lonely at all, in fact she is happy and *she is pregnant*"

The friends laughed, as they expected this. “And how is the tenant?” they asked.

Nath replied very soberly *“She is also pregnant* .,.” 

Never underestimate the *Power of - Senior Citizen*💪🏻

A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. “Do you have Eyes of Blue and A Love Supreme?” she asked.

“Well, no,” answered the puzzled homeowner. “But I have a wife and 11 children.”

“Is that a record?” she inquired.

“I don’t think so,” he replied, “but it’s as close as I want to get.”

😆

Two horses are standing in a field.
 “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse,” says the first.

“Moo!” says the second.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring.

 The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside

🌈🤭🤭🤭

Beat this !!!

😀😀😀
I am a Cardiac surgeon working in a reputed hospital in Hyderabad.
Normally after I come out of the operation theatre after performing the procedure many anxious near and dear ones of the patient waiting outside eagerly ,rush to me and ask me many questions about the condtion of the patient ,success of the surgery etc .But recently I was asked a question by the patient's wife for which I had no answer.
With both eyes filled with tears ,she held both my gloved hands firmly and asked "Please tell me doctor. ..was there any other lady in his heart ?"....       😅😜🤪🤣

After a car accident in Delhi, a young guy comes out of his car shouting,
" Gaadi thok di, jaanta hai mera baap kaun hai?"
The other guy slaps him hard and says,
" Dhyan se dekh ullu k patthe, main tera baap hi hoon "

Now you know how bad the Smog in Delhi is
😂😂😜😜

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

103 passengers and only 40 meals was loaded on a Bombay to Canada flight.

The airline had bungled, and the crew was in a fix. However, one smart flight attendant had an idea.

About 30 minutes into the flight she nervously announced :
"I don't know how this happened but we have 103 passengers and only 40 dinners."

"Anyone who is kind enough to give up his/her meal for someone else, will receive free unlimited liquor during  the entire duration of the flight."

Her next announcement came two hours later :
*"If anyone wants to change their minds we still have 40 meals available*

Cheers !!!

*Moral*

People who drink have a big heart!!
🍻🍺 🥃😂😂

Caller : Are you Vinay Kumar  ??

You: Yes

Caller : Govt is planning to  sell Air India. Are you interested in buying them?

You : Me?... I am a  middle class fellow. I can't afford. I can barely manage my home loan, car loan, kids school fees, parents medical expenses, home bills and save a little thereafter  !! 

Caller: That's why we asked. Later don't blame Modi saying he sold Air India to Ambani, Adani etc.
😜😟😟

If you love someone, set them free.
Petrol is Rs.88 per litre.
How far will they go?
😆

👇 Test your ears....... and see if you can hear the sounds relative to your age ....   

Press the 'I can't hear it' button when u cannot hear the sound anymore

https://www.echalk.co.uk/Science/biology/hearing/HowOldIsYourHearing/resource.html

Neighbour Aunty has a sprain in the waist....

























































































































































































































































 Now you have rubbed enough, she’s fine
 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😃😃😄😄😆😆😆😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😙😙😙😘😘💌

A lady cooked a curry and posted its pic on FB
Later at the dining table...

Husband: “Oh dear , looks like you forgot adding salt to the curry"

Wife : “What the hell! This curry got 253 Likes on FB and also 98 people commented 'Yummy'. 

You are only one who always complains.
 😡😡😂😂

Wife sent a message to her husband : Dont forget to buy the nightdress i liked and Savita says hi.

Husband : Who is Savita?

Wife : Nobody. I was just making sure you read my message.
😂
😂
😂

Extra Marital affair, Criminals contesting elections, rape, murder, extortion, lynching NOT an offence.

Then what is offence?

Answer : Not wearing a helmet
🙄😝